Family
Let's zoom way, way out for a moment and take a look at humanity at a high level and ask a big question.
Since this page is titled, "Family," you might expect the answer to be, well, family. But no.
That's close, but I'm heading toward relationship(s).
When we boil down the purposes and motives of people, regardless of ethnicity, religion, or nationality, all of us have a central directive to be in relation with other humans (and animals).
People joke about being introverts and wanting to live on the moon, or swearing off people and deciding to only live with dogs, or cats, or chickens, or whatever. But let's be real for a moment: after 10 or 20 years of living alone or only with animals, we would feel pretty lonely and incomplete, right?
Humans need relationship; and from those relationships, we need to receive acceptance, belonging, reciprocation, love, security, guidance, etc.
And there is a place where we can get all of those needs met--the family.
 |
| Christmas 2023 - Do not tell my wife this is on the internet, or she will cash in on our life insurance policy sooner than I would like. Thanks. |
Before some people judge this and say that I'm excluding people who have very little or no interactions with their "blood" family, don't shoot me down (yet).
My point at the beginning is that we need human connection, but some people may not be able to get that from their genetic family. If that is the case, a person can still get the connection from people who treat them with kindness, love, dignity, and respect.
But in the scope of human society (past, present, and future), the most common way for these needs to be met is through the "traditional" family model (mom + dad + child[ren]).
Am I advocating that other models are unacceptable? No.
So, now that we've covered the high level stuff, let's talk about family!
Family Topics at The Devine View
On this site, "family" topics are divided into two broad buckets--marriage and parenting.
The order is intentional, as I don't believe we can parent optimally if our marriage relationship is not healthy and growing.
Marriage
My wife, Elizabeth, and I were married in 2007, which seems like yesterday and 25 years ago at the same time. I truly believe she is the woman for me; and vice versa.
Since our marriage, we have lived in four states and five houses; we have experienced the joy of receiving our four children (3 boys, 1 girl) into the world and the pain of losing children to miscarriage.
We have been hot and cold with each other; kind and unkind; rude and polite; harsh and gentle; sick and well; poor and less poor; busy and bored; motivated and discouraged; happy and sad.
And that's what I will write about--the ups and downs, the lessons learned, and how to scare her when she least expects it!
Parenting
We became parents for the first time in 2011, so we're just starting to feel, well, old (mainly because our kids are starting to tell us that we are old).
I don't think anyone can be fully prepared for parenting, because so much of the learning happens "on the job" in parenting. We grapple with the issues as they come and learn how to manage them within the very specific context of each child's personality.
My intention is to share some of the mistakes we've made in hopes that other parents can avoid them (especially if you're a new parent or soon to become one), but also to point other parents to useful resources that we have benefited from.
And on that note, I highly recommend the book Raising Emotionally Strong Boys by David Thomas (not the Wendy's guy).
Outro
Family life is at the center of human existence, whether that life is in the context of the traditional family unit or something less traditional. Because it's so important, this topic will be a central theme on this site and across The Devine View's content platforms.
If you want to see all the Family-related articles on this site, click here.
I would be happy to discuss more with you if you are interested. You can connect with me online via YouTube, Instagram, Threads, Facebook, or X (formerly Twitter).
