Toy Jail
It creates some stress in our house, primarily because there are only a few options for dealing with the incessant littering of toys (or things they deem to be toys, like a stretch of yarn or partially inflated balloon from a festival they went to 94 days ago).
As I see it, here are the options:
Number 1: Clean up the toys yourself.
Because you're a "nice" parent, and you enjoy cleanliness. This is an acceptable option when you're feeling motivated and loving toward your child(ren). However, it can create an attitude in your child(ren) that makes them expect that you will clean up after them.
Also, I've noticed (in 13 years of parenting so far) that the toys magically end up right back in the same places within an hour or two. And since they expect that you'll clean it up, you're in for an annoying day, week, month, and life.
Number 2: Make the kid(s) clean up the toys.
Because you're done being nice today, but you still enjoy cleanliness. This is a great option because it teaches your kids to clean up after themselves, right? Well, yes; but it also creates conflict. I'm fine with that; but maybe this is the 73rd battle of the day, and you're just done.
I know, I know. If you do this consistently and make it the expectation, then they will learn to do it without you asking. I suppose that's true in theory; but we have four kids. The older kids have learned, and now they're annoyed by the toys everywhere too. Yeah, we did it!
But the little ones are still living in the house, and they haven't learned yet.
Number 3: Leave the toys there.
Because you're feeling nice, or just really tired, and you figure if you leave it there long enough the kids will come back to play with it or pick it up.
Hours go by, then days, then weeks. Your children grow to teenagers and start applying for colleges, and you wonder if they'll ever pick up "Mr. Puppy Pants" from the hallway floor.
Here's the thing: most kids don't care how your house looks.
So, while this is technically an option, you can expect to live amidst random stuff for 18-35 years. If you're okay with that, more power to you.
Number 4: Toy Jail
The working theory behind toy jail is that kids really don't love most of their toys that much, and they won't notice if the toys just suddenly disappear (aka get tried and convicted in the court of Dad and sentenced to hard time).
So, in a way, this is a variation of Number 1. I am technically cleaning up their mess, and some of you might object to this based solely on that. You have a point.
But for me, this is working; and I sorta love the psychological aspects of it.
When I see the random toys & stuff, I triage into things that are actually junk and those that are worth keeping. Junk goes to the garbage bin, and non-junk goes to jail.
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| Image generated by Gemini Imagen 3 on 16 Sep 2024 |
Jail can be an inconspicuous drawer somewhere, or a cabinet, closet, box, or anywhere you're pretty sure your kid(s) can't or won't look. And BOOM! You're done.
Now, occasionally the kids do say, "Where is my galactic LEGO droid with Thor's hammer?" (Note: I never throw away LEGOs.) This is where it gets fun.
I respond with, "Where did you last play with it?"
Kid: "I don't know. The basement?"
Me: "Hmm. Weird. Maybe it got in trouble?"
Kid: "Dad!"
And the conversation continues, which is much more like a hostage negotiation than a conversation.
We cut a deal of some sort, and I agree to release the whereabouts of LEGO Captain Galactica wielding Mjölnir.
In many other cases, they never ask about these items again, which leads to the last options.
Number 5: Trash or Donation
We encourage our kids not to hoard. It's just not healthy. Plenty of data to back that up.
So when they realize that their stuff has been in "jail" for weeks or sometimes months without them losing a moment of sleep, they start to realize that maybe they can part with it--permanently.
Some things are just not worth keeping, and to the trash bin they go.
But other things have some value and should be donated.
We have a favorite local place to donate our gently used items, and it's called Mission Thrift Store (https://www.missionsthriftstore.org/).
Outro
Many things I said here are jokes or tongue-in-cheek, but let me take a moment to be serious. Parenting is hard, and I truly believe it's the one of the most important responsibilities I have in my life currently.
So, while I joke around, I'm not kidding about the need to instill good habits, values, and characteristics in our children.
Proverbs 22:6 says, "Train up a child in the way he should go, And when he is old he will not depart from it."
Toy jail is funny (to me), but more importantly I want my children to understand that things are just things, and they are not the meaning of life.
Luke 12:15 says, "...[a person's] life does not consist in the abundance of his possessions."
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